In today’s world if all you paid attention to was the television news, and programs like Entertainment tonight, you might come away with a rather slanted view of who Americans were really like. You might find yourself wanting to admit that you were a gay Latino rap singer. You’d want to fit in so you would go down to the courthouse to get the record changed. It might go something like this;

“May I help you sir?”

“Yes, I’m here to come out.”

“Uh, come out?”

“Yes, I want to tell the world who I really am, as it were, you know, come out of the closet.”

“I see, well what exactly are you now.”

“My name is Fred Johnson and I’m married to Ethel Johnson and we have two children, Fred Jr. and Sally Johnson. Up until yesterday I worked at the hardware store, been there twenty some odd years now. We own the old Wilson farm out on 301 highway and grow peaches on the side. But that was my old life, there ain’t any more like us, so I’m coming out.”

“Well sir, where exactly are you coming out to, I mean where you going, what’s your plan?”

“I thought I would sell out and take my family and head to New York City,”

“Sir, what will you do there?”

“Oh I guess we’ll protest something or the other, there’s a lot of that going on it seems, I’ll take up rapping and Ethel, more than likely, will get strung out on something. The government will take care of our kids, it seems they want to decide what they should have and do anyway.

“We want to fit in and be proud Americans and it seems our kind are all gone so we’re coming out.”

“Well sir, do you mind if I attempt to give you a little advice?”

“You go ahead and advise away young lady.”

“Well my advice to you and your family is not to ‘come out’ at all.”

“Don’t come out, you say?”

“That’s right sir, I think you’ll find there are quite a few of your kind left and all you have to do is ‘go in, go way in’. I believe you’ll discover that America and freedom are still here. If you will work hard, raise your kid’s right, and pray to God, I believe before long the confusion our country seems to be going through will ebb and common sense will once again rule the day.”

“I sure hope you’re right young lady, to be real honest with you I would not make a great rap singer. I can’t seem to rhyme too well and I am lacking the moves. Besides I need Ethel to keep straight, and I’d probably shoot anyone messing with my children. So if you need the Johnsons of this country for anything, look ‘way, way, in’. We will always be here fighting for our freedom and the American way.”

I’ll be right back.